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Determining what the relationship between the IP(s) and the surrogate will be after the baby is born is an important stage of the surrogacy journey. Some families may choose not to keep in touch with their gestational carrier, but others may agree early on that they'd like to stay connected with the woman that helped them build their family.

As children via surrogacy grow older, their parents will likely explain to them exactly how they came into this world?and how their surrogate carried them into existence. This may or may not include introducing the child to the gestational carrier.

Creating a bond between the gestational carrier and child can be an effective way to explain and normalize the surrogacy process. If the parents and surrogate agree that it's appropriate for their child to maintain a connection with their carrier, here are a few fun activities they can enjoy together.‍

Put Together a Scrapbook 

Have the surrogate compile a scrapbook of memories throughout the duration of the surrogacy journey to show the child. 

Scrapbooking is not only a fun way to look back on the experience of a lifetime, but also an effective, tangible way to show the child how they came into the world.

Scrapbook materials could include: 

• Photos of the initial meeting
• Notable Documents
• Letters/Emails
• Milemarkers
• Sonograms
• Baby bump pictures
• The first time the IPs met the surrogate's family (if appropriate)
• The progression of the pregnancy
• Delivery day pictures
• First baby pictures
• Family photos from the surrogate
• Family photos from the parents

When the child is old enough and the IPs have explained that they were born via surrogacy, the surrogate can give the scrapbook as a gift. This not only creates a bond between the surrogate and the family, but helps clarify the surrogacy process to the child in a special, memorable way. 

Create a Timeline 

Have the surrogate write down all of the ways the IPs bonded with their unborn child before birth on a month-by-month (or week-by-week) basis alongside her own surrogacy experience.

For example, an entry could read: "Week 15?The doctor told us that you're as big as a navel orange! Your parents and I love seeing you grow in each ultrasound. They've picked out a beautiful shade of blue for your new room, and my two daughters love trying to feel you kick (you roll around, but don't quite kick yet)." 

Depending on how artistic you are, this could be developed into a journal, a framed piece of art, or if you're technically savvy, maybe a digital slideshow, video, or interactive graphic. 

By combining both the surrogate's progress and IPs activities, children can see how much they were loved by their parents before they were born. It shows how the surrogate contributed, but also how the IPs supported her.

Organize a Family Meal

Family meals are a great way to enjoy each other's company in a casual, comfortable setting.

No matter who's hosting, having the whole family there?including the surrogate's family, if she's comfortable?shows the child that the woman who carried them may not be their mother, but that she helped make the family they are today. 

Make a "World's Best Surrogate" Project

Play on the "World's Best Mom/Dad" with a "World's Best Surrogate" project. Depending on the child's age, their level of participation may vary, but it's a fun way for parents to show their surrogate how much they appreciate helping them build their new family.

Parents and their kids can build a custom trophy, send a personalized card, design a t-shirt, create a customized picture frame, or dozens of other crafts.

If they're old enough to understand the significance, this also serves a valuable way to explain how their surrogate brought them into the world. 

Organize a Photoshoot 

Professional photography sessions can be expensive, but the outcomes are absolutely priceless.

Aaron Huniu Photography

Whether the child is newborn, toddling, or celebrating double-digits, photoshoots are a great way to creatively capture the bond between the family and their surrogate. A fun-filled photoshoot is an excellent way to save those memories forever, and for IPs to thank their surrogate for carrying their child.

If they decide to maintain a close relationship, it's important for parents and surrogates to come up with activities that help children get to know the woman that carried them and the role she played in building their family. This helps normalize surrogacy for the child, and honors the woman who gave their family the gift of a lifetime.