Blog

The below is an account of a WSS surrogate: 

There's a point you reach in life when you ask yourself: "Have I left my mark?"

In spite of having a great life, a loving family, and a job I was passionate about, I still wasn't certain I had given enough of myself to the world. I decided it was time for me to give back...but how?

Although I wasn't sure how I could make a difference, I knew I wanted to do something that was reflective of my own values. After some self-reflection, the answer suddenly became very clear: I wanted to become a gestational surrogate. There is nothing more important to me than my family, and the idea of giving someone the gift that I cherished more than anything in the world filled me with joy and satisfaction. At that point, the only thing left to do was share my ambition with the most important people in my life.

When I discussed my desire with my husband, he was entirely encouraging. While my 10-year-old son took a bit more time to come around to the idea since he didn't believe it was scientifically possible, once he understood the process, I had his full support as well. That undying support from my husband and son meant everything to me, and I knew I would need it for this journey we would all take together. Without that, I never could have started.

What truly surprised me was just how large my support system would really be.

When I decided to share my plans on Facebook, I knew my close family and friends would be supportive, but I didn't anticipate the depth of support and love I would receive. I truly underestimated my family, friends, and coworkers. Suddenly, people I didn't even know at the beginning of the process became friends of mine, and I regularly answered their questions and chatted about my progress.  Their support kept my heart truly full throughout the entire experience.

Once I became pregnant, just nine days after the transfer, the time flew by. Although we had to go through all the predictable details that go along with pregnancy - blood tests, doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, etc. - before we knew it, we were planning for the baby's imminent arrival. The closer we got to the delivery, the more people would ask me how I was handling it. They were concerned how I would feel when it came time to give her away.

But I wasn't concerned about that at all, as I had a very different perspective on the birth. I couldn't be sad about "giving her away" because I knew she was never mine. I would simply be giving her back to her loving parents who were eagerly awaiting her arrival. To any women considering surrogacy, this is a critical point to understand; otherwise, the journey would not ultimately be satisfying.

That's not to say I didn't feel love for the beautiful baby girl growing inside me, quite the opposite. To dedicate nine months to help her grow and keep her safe requires real love. But for me, the real satisfaction was knowing that she would be given the best life possible by two fathers who would love her more than anything. That's what surrogacy is really about.

As I neared the end of the journey, I had a revelation. I realized that all of the individual parts of the process - the surrogacy application, the matching process, the medical screenings, the transfer, and even the pregnancy itself - were all just small pieces of a larger puzzle. It was really about the magnificent journey. I had built a family for people who were complete strangers before this all began, and although I was merely a single piece of the process, without that single piece, none of it would have been possible.

To know that I was a part of helping others have a family, the most important thing in my own life, was the ultimate reward. There is no greater gift I could ever hope to share.